You’ve probably heard people say, give yourself grace, but what does that really mean?
For me, it’s meant stepping back and realizing I’ll rarely feel 100% confident in many choices anymore. Whether it was what snacks Shep and Beau were eating or what activities they were signed up for, I found myself overanalyzing everything and beating myself up for possibly making the right decisions.
Have you been there?
Remember the days when making decisions was easy? When only you were the one that would feel the impact?
The weight of making choices for my two sons and my whole family felt heavy. What if we picked the wrong preschool? What if they needed more unstructured playtime and I was making it too busy? Was I being a good enough friend? Would I ever lose the baby weight from Beau?
Grace. Give yourself grace.
I realized I wasn’t giving myself grace at all and felt really guilty about every choice I was making. Like nothing was ever good enough and I was always failing someone. It was paralyzing.
Have you noticed how quickly your kids give you grace? Recently I was simply tired after a long day of chasing the kids around, and when we were up in their playroom I felt guilty for not engaging with them more. In fact, I just laid my head down on the carpet for a minute or so while they played. Then the guilt set in. But before I let myself get up, Shep ran over, gave me a big hug and said, “Mommy, I love you more than the whole wide world!” He showed me he’s never looking for perfection from his mom — he loves me for being there. For being me.
Whether you are a mom, or a dad, or thinking about a family down the road, parenthood teaches you that you will fail. Daily. And in the end, only you (and of course, Jesus) can give yourself grace.
Here’s how as moms, we can quickly and often give ourselves some much-deserved grace.
- Choose something to ignore. What doesn’t matter to you? Is it an overflowing email inbox? An organized closet? Finally catching up on your favorite TV shows? Whatever doesn’t matter to you — ignore it and let it go. Leave that time open for more important things in your life that allow you to rest or rejuvenate so when big decisions come your way you have an open mind.
- Realize that no one is satisfied with their bodies. This topic is HARD. But when you can find peace with your body where it is or where you’ve come, that’s amazing. It can be tempting to always battle five or 10 pounds. But is that battle worth it? What will you gain? If it’s one size smaller in a pair of pants, I say it doesn’t matter. I used to be a size 4, and now I’m a 6. I don’t know if I’ll ever be a 4 again, and honestly, I don’t care. That extra size brought me two beautiful boys, and for that I’m thankful. If I’m honest, it’s also likely due to my love of pasta and wine!
- Reach out to friends. Some days can be so hard and it can feel easier to shy away from friends. Instead, reach out to those you trust. Share your struggles and you’ll likely find you’re not alone. Finding grace with true friends is one of the most amazing gifts in motherhood.
- Let go of bad friends. If friendships are starting to steal more joy than they lift you up, give yourself grace to let them go. Ignore guilt that comes with a friendship that ends and instead enjoy the time with true friends who bring support and happiness to your life.
- Take a breather. I tell my toddler this all the time when he gets frustrated with something. I realized the same goes for me. If I’m getting frustrated with my kids for not listening, not sharing, you name it. Instead of repeating myself or yelling, I take a breath. The moment will pass — it always does. Give yourself grace to pause.
- Celebrate the amazing days. It’s so easy to complain when your day goes wrong. We need to celebrate the good days more often. Tell a friend how your child learned a new letter or scored a goal at soccer. It’s not bragging — a good friend will celebrate alongside you. Give yourself grace to be boldly proud of your daily wins!
We all deserve to give ourselves more grace, even on the days when we think we’re failing the most. And always, always remember, beginning every day we get to start again. So sip that coffee, relax, and with a little grace, enjoy your wonderful day ahead.
On to the linkup!